I think I know now..

I've waited for an answer. I've waited to feel that I am still wanted and loved enough to be kept again. But I guess what I got wasn't enough and I have to accept it. If he wants to move on and meet someone else, it's fine. He's working on that now anyway and I can't be a fool anymore knowing that and still want him back. I guess he is right, 'I deserve better' and he said it himself, 'I only love you. That's all.'

The pain is enough. He is not doing enough to keep me and that is because he doesn't want to. OK, fine.

I can't be with him when he has desires for other women. I am gonna be good to myself and I promise now, that it's all over.

I'm ready to meet someone else. I'm going to love me now.

I don't want to be stupid no more. I am scared for myself, I even thought last night that any day my heart could stop beating. This feeling in my heart is bugging me. I run out of breath for no reason and my heart beats so strong every now and then.

I don't know if he's gonna meet someone who can travel with him wherever. A woman who will not demand gifts and dinner out that he has to pay. A woman that is not jealous is hard to find. All women are jealous. And if he wants to fuck whores then I don't want a guy like that. And if he's interested in shemales, then that's disgusting.

I've had enough. If he wants me then he should fight for me and let me feel that he won't let me go. That's all I need and I'd stay. But I've got my answer. I think I know now..

I'm moving on.