It's a brand new year and I was so looking forward to leaving 2011. It was probably the worst year of my life. I've met people I wish I've never met and I've been hurt way more I wished I wouldn't be hurt. 2012 I need to be happy or seriously i'd probably kill myself. But I love my family too much I don't wanna cause them shame and pain.
I've read a bit of the stuff I posted on here before. That time I was so hurt and I thought nothing could get worse than what has happened. I was wrong. October I found out that he slept with another woman early last year. The woman who I hate with all my guts. And then a few weeks later I found out he also slept with someone in 2010. That only night I let him have his boy's night out with his bestfriend and he did it. That was so far the only ones I've found out. And then another one last December. But this was the worst. I can't tell anyone everything. I wish I can but I can't. Do you know how difficult it is to keep pain to yourself? Every day it haunts you. It's hard to forget.
I can't believe I still forgave him. I swore before that once is enough. But after three times? Really, Steph? Are you that stupid?
First day of the year I've started another diary. But he said that I always write when I'm upset on my diary and he's fed up of it. That is why I'm writing here, in secrecy. There's no other way for me to let my feelings out anymore.
I should just let it go or break up with him. That's what he said. Maybe he's right. If I can't forget about it might as well end it. I can't take it anymore.
I've read a bit of the stuff I posted on here before. That time I was so hurt and I thought nothing could get worse than what has happened. I was wrong. October I found out that he slept with another woman early last year. The woman who I hate with all my guts. And then a few weeks later I found out he also slept with someone in 2010. That only night I let him have his boy's night out with his bestfriend and he did it. That was so far the only ones I've found out. And then another one last December. But this was the worst. I can't tell anyone everything. I wish I can but I can't. Do you know how difficult it is to keep pain to yourself? Every day it haunts you. It's hard to forget.
I can't believe I still forgave him. I swore before that once is enough. But after three times? Really, Steph? Are you that stupid?
First day of the year I've started another diary. But he said that I always write when I'm upset on my diary and he's fed up of it. That is why I'm writing here, in secrecy. There's no other way for me to let my feelings out anymore.
I should just let it go or break up with him. That's what he said. Maybe he's right. If I can't forget about it might as well end it. I can't take it anymore.
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